That’s right. I’m canceling Thursdays. Of all the days of the week, Thursday reigns as the least necessary. It pales in comparison to Friday, of course. TGIF — Thank God It’s Friday — just makes sense. Right? No one ever heard of TGIT for Thank God It’s Thursday. TGIT almost sounds like an obscene reference to mammary glands, and besides it would have to be TGITH to make it different from TGIT for Thank God It’s Tuesday. Plus, Tee-Gee-Eye-“Th” sounds really inane. Like you have a “lithp” or thumthing. So there you go. Thursday’s out of here.
Now, back to Tuesday. One could elect to cancel it. However, Tuesday captures its charisma (though it is small, I agree) from Monday, largely because it’s a relief to have Monday behind you and the work or school week along its way.
Wednesday, as hump day, marks the downward slide to the week’s end. We can’t expunge such an important day.
Now, Saturday, by all accounts, is cleanup day. It’s the scoop-up-the-pieces dash when we attack our life-support junk in a blur of catch-up. We inhale deep breaths, sucking in oxygen from open car windows while racing from one list item to the next: groceries, banking, dry-cleaners, car wash, (puff-puff), kids’ soccer games, fundraisers, hair cuts, a Target run, clean the house, laundry (two lights and three darks), gym class, manicure, clothes shopping, school supplies … Are you with…
